>>>
>>>>
>>>>This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell-
>>>>Douglas website by an employee there who obviously has a
>>>>sense of humor.  The company, of course, does not - and
>>>>made the web department take it down immediately.
>>>>
>>>>(In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is/was one of
>>>>the world's chief suppliers of military aircraft).
>>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>>>
>>>>Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.In
>>>>order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
>>>>fill out the warranty registration card below.  Answering the
>>>>survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to
>>>>develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
>>>>
>>>>1.        [_] Mr.  [_] Mrs.  [_] Ms.  [_] Miss  [_] Lt.
>>>>           [_] Gen.  [_] Comrade  [_] Classified  [_] Other
>>>>First Name:.....................................................
>>>>Initial: ........
>>>>Last Name:......................................................
>>>>Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
>>>>Code Name: ......................................................
>>>>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ...........  ...........  ..........
>>>>
>>>>2.  Which model aircraft did you purchase?
>>>>     [_]F-14 Tomcat      [_] F-15 Eagle      [_] F-16 Falcon
>>>>     [_] F-117A Stealth      [_] Classified
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>3.  Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... / ....... /......
>>>>
>>>>4.  Serial Number: ................................................
>>>>
>>>>5.  Please check where this product was purchased:
>>>>     [_] Received as gift / aid package
>>>>     [_] Catalog showroom
>>>>     [_] Independent arms broker
>>>>     [_] Mail order
>>>>     [_] Discount store
>>>>     [_] Government surplus
>>>>     [_] Classified
>>>>
>>>> 6.  Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
>>>>      product you have just purchased:
>>>>     [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>>>>     [_] Store display
>>>>     [_] Espionage
>>>>     [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
>>>>     [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>>>>     [_] Was attacked by one
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>7.  Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced
>>>>      your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>>>>     [_] Style / appearance
>>>>     [_] Speed / maneuverability
>>>>     [_] Price / value
>>>>     [_] Comfort / convenience
>>>>     [_] Kickback / bribe
>>>>     [_] Recommended by salesperson
>>>>     [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>>>>     [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>>>>     [_] Backroom politics
>>>>     [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>>>>
>>>>8.  Please check the location(s) where this product will be
>>>>     used:
>>>>     [_] North America
>>>>     [_] Central / South America
>>>>     [_] Aircraft carrier
>>>>     [_] Europe
>>>>     [_] Middle East
>>>>     [_] Africa
>>>>     [_] Asia / Far East
>>>>     [_] Misc. Third World countries
>>>>     [_] Classified
>>>>
>>>>9.  Please check the products that you currently own or intend
>>>>     to purchase in the near future:
>>>>     [_] Color TV
>>>>     [_] VCR
>>>>     [_] ICBM
>>>>     [_] Killer Satellite
>>>>     [_] CD Player
>>>>     [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
>>>>     [_] Space Shuttle
>>>>     [_] Home Computer
>>>>     [_] Nuclear Weapon
>>>>
>>>> 10.  How would you describe yourself or your organization?
>>>>     (Check all that apply:)
>>>>     [_] Communist / Socialist
>>>>     [_] Terrorist
>>>>     [_] Crazed
>>>>     [_] Neutral
>>>>     [_] Democratic
>>>>     [_] Dictatorship
>>>>     [_] Corrupt
>>>>     [_] Primitive / Tribal
>>>>
>>>>11.  How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>>>>     [_] Deficit spending
>>>>     [_] Cash
>>>>     [_] Suitcases of cocaine
>>>>     [_] Oil revenues
>>>>     [_] Personal check
>>>>     [_] Credit card
>>>>     [_] Ransom money
>>>>     [_] Traveler's check
>>>>
>>>>12.  Your occupation:
>>>>     [_] Homemaker
>>>>     [_] Sales / marketing
>>>>     [_] Revolutionary
>>>>     [_] Clerical
>>>>     [_] Mercenary
>>>>     [_] Tyrant
>>>>     [_] Middle management
>>>>     [_] Eccentric billionaire
>>>>     [_] Defense Minister / General
>>>>     [_] Retired
>>>>     [_] Student
>>>>
>>>>13.  To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please
>>>>       indicate the interests and activities in which you and
>>>>       your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
>>>>     [_] Golf
>>>>     [_] Boating / sailing
>>>>     [_] Sabotage
>>>>     [_] Running / jogging
>>>>     [_] Propaganda / disinformation
>>>>     [_] Destabilization / overthrow
>>>>     [_] Default on loans
>>>>     [_] Gardening
>>>>     [_] Crafts
>>>>     [_] Black market / smuggling
>>>>     [_] Collectibles / collections
>>>>     [_] Watching sports on TV
>>>>     [_] Wines
>>>>     [_] Interrogation / torture
>>>>     [_] Household pets
>>>>     [_] Crushing rebellions
>>>>     [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>>>>     [_] Fashion clothing
>>>>     [_] Border disputes
>>>>     [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>>>>
>>>>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
>>>>answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
>>>>Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to
>>>>receive mailings and special offers from other companies,
>>>>governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
>>>>
>>>>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
>>>>
>>>>Please write to:
>>>>     MCDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
>>>>     Marketing Department
>>>>     Military Aerospace Division
>>>>
>>
>>
>>
>