Why did the chicken cross the road?


Kindergarten teacher: To get to the other side.

Plato: For the greater good.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment
could let it take.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we
are quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.

Hypocrites: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

Arthur Anderson Consultant: Deregulation of the chicken's side
of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken
was faced with significant challenge to create and develop the
competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen Consulting, in a partnering with the client, helped the
chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and
implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model
(PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use all its skills, methodologies,
knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's
people, processes and technology, in support of its overall strategy
within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a
diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with
Andersen Consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to
engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their
personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them
to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of
delivering and
successfully architecturing and implementing an enterprise-wide value
framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The
meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an
environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon
a consistent, clear and united market message and aligned with
the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was
conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
Andersen Consulting helped the
chicken change to become more successful.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens and He said unto the
chicken, 'Thou shalt cross the road.' And the chicken crossed
the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Richard Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
the chicken did not cross the road.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.
Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever
motive there was.

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing
walking around all over the place, anyway?

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Oliver Stone: The question is not, ?Why did the chicken cross
the road?? Rather it is, ?Who was crossing the road at the same
time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing??

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been
naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically
disposed to cross roads.

Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road, it
transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Colonel Sanders: What, I missed one?