>THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
>
> ==================================================
>AGE   DRINK
>17   beer
>25   bourbon
>35   vodka
>48   double vodka
>66   Maalox
>
>AGE  SEDUCTION LINE
>17  My parents are away for the weekend.
>25  My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
>35  My fiancee is away for the weekend.
>48  My wife is away for the weekend.
>66  My second wife is dead.
>
>AGE  FAVORITE SPORT
>17  sex
>25  sex
>35  sex
>48  sex
>66  napping
>
>AGE  DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
>17  "tongue"
>25  "breakfast"
>35  "She didn't set back my therapy."
>48  "I didn't have to meet her kids."
>66  "Got home alive."
>
>AGE  FAVORITE FANTASY
>17  getting to third
>25  airplane sex
>35  menage a trois
>48  taking the company public
>66  Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
>
>AGE  WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
>17  25
>25  35
>35  48
>48  66
>66  17
>
>AGE  IDEAL DATE
>17  Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
>25  "Split the check before we go back to my place"
>35  "Just come over."
>48  "Just come over and cook."
>66  Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.
>
>THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE
>==============================================
> AGE  DRINK
>17  Wine Coolers
>25  White wine
>35  Red wine
>48  Dom Perignon
>66  Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

> AGE  EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
>17  Need to wash my hair
>25  Need to wash and condition my hair
>35  Need to color my hair
>48  Need to have Francois color my hair
>66  Need to have Francois color my wig

>AGE  FAVORITE SPORT
>17  shopping
>25  shopping
>35  shopping
>48  shopping
>66  shopping
>
> AGE  DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
>17  "Burger King"
>25  "Free meal"
>35  "A diamond"
>48  "A bigger diamond"
>66  "Home Alone"
>
> AGE  FAVORITE FANTASY
>17  tall, dark and handsome
>25  tall, dark and handsome with money
>35  tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
>48  a man with hair
>66  a man
>
> AGE  WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
>17  17
>25  25
>35  35
>48  48
>66  66
>
>AGE  IDEAL DATE
>17  He offers to pay
>25  He pays
>35  He cooks breakfast the next morning
>48  He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
>66  He can chew breakfast